Monday, January 16, 2017
Prussia Orientalis
With deference and decorum, unlike the brash and inconsiderate remonstrations of the British and Mexicans, The Prussian Empire would like to submit the area that it would like to secure as its Zone of Interest upon of the newly opened continent of Neulandia. One will instantly notice the modest and considerate dimensions of this claim in contrast to the outlandish demands of the other Powers. As with all such claims they are subject to final arbitration of the Council of Great Powers.
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The Mexicanish Empire posits the following. To my Prussian and British Brethren. If you are incapable of drawing proper straight lines at the start of this venture, you are unqualified to be trusted with the burden of colonial activity in Neulandia. The Mexicanish Empire challenges your right to make any claim and opposes with manly vigour your right to make a claim until such time as you demonstrate proper European moral conviction evidenced by the drawing of straight lines. Naturally, the more complicated your lines the more we will respect your claims!
ReplyDeleteAs it would be said in your native tongue. "We don't kneed no stinking straight lines." The Queen of England drew those lines. Great Britain will not take kindling to your insults from a nation of Taco Vendors. God save the Queen.
ReplyDeleteBesides you stole Mexico from it's native Indians along with all the gold.
Once again, sir, you offer Proof Positive of the old adage concerning Brits and their parentage. Your Mother was a Hamster and your father smelt of Elderberries.
ReplyDeleteYour queen looks better now with a stack of neck stretch rings, than without.
Straight Lines! Nothing can be accomplished in life without STRAIGHT LINES!!
Hey you drew a set of stairs... It that your stairway to heaven? It least my Queen is married.. You must take a nap every afternoon. What people sleeping the middle of the day. That must be you are worn out steal pesos from the peasants. Wait until the Prussians get down with you.
ReplyDeleteStairs ... STAIRS you say! Our Emperor, His Most Catholic Majesty, Maximilliano I, along with his gracious and mannered Wife the Empress Carlotta. After healthy consideration and much deliberation have carefully generated a border which allows supportable space to the Colonies to our north for growth in what will be a contested space, while also reserving sufficient space for our own colonial needs. And at least neither our emperor, nor his spouse are so miserable as to actively attempt to get themselves killed by jumping in front of guns like poor Albert did to get shed of your precious Victoria. Fortunately for him, all it took was her own callous disregard for his person to gain relief from this veil of tears.
ReplyDeleteAs to your slanderous and venal charges, we take naps to refresh ourselves after our exertions of the morning. As opposed to your mindless waste of material and resources drinking "Tea" to try and stay awake for the afternoon after you have frittered away your morning reading boring papers full of useless information supposed to drive your imagination.
Some of us are going to have to get busy saving the soul of Neulandia! We fear no power of this Earth, we are not fearing any men. Our eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!
My my the Emperor is nothing more that a poor Austrian artist. Not even a true blooded bandit from Mexico. You mackerel snappers have been biting at you noble heels for century. Several centuries ago to tried invade our nation you your second rate fishing boats. Yes we have not forgotten the Anglo-Spanish war. The Church of England called upon God to destroy your fishing boats in English Channel. Later the Noble Wellington saved you from the French. Otherwise you would be speaking French right now.
ReplyDeleteHave forgotten how we the Noble people of the United Kingdom reclaimed the Canada, America and Caribbean from thieving hands. By jove we drink real liquor. The great Irish whisky, Scotch and rum the drinks of real men. Unlike your donkey drippings call tequila. Plus the inferior grade wine.. I believe call it Welche's grape juice. But you will be quaking in you sneakers as soon are Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson land in the new colony in Neulandia.. God save the Queen
Our Forefathers attempted to establish law and order in a godless nation of pirates run by a Harlot! Some locales are beyond all hope of civilized behavior, and your islands are prime examples. The world has but to look at your mass starvation of your own Irish citizens for the proof.
ReplyDeleteThe Spanish King, your precious Wellington fought to restore, was just another Frenchmen. Leave it to the Brits to get tens of thousands of their own killed in a fight between two Frogs over who would preside over Spain. Our good news is that we have since evicted all the foreign interlopers and returned to proper Hapsburg rule!
We are sending the Contessa Irena Adler as our special emissary to Neulandia and have complete confidence in her ability to defend Mexicanish Intrests.
Amusing of you to mention Irish Whisky (see above). Speaking of Donkey urine, Scotch Whisky, really? The Peones drink the cactus fruit, we drink Rum. Which we then sold to you, your welcome.
God will need to save your Queen, he is the only one who could.
Maxie... Our rum is the finest made in the world. It distilled in wonderful colonies in the British West Indies. Now that you have upset my Highlanders. They will drink your blood...
ReplyDelete